(And Everything is Against You)
April 4, 2008
If you have been attracted to this title, I might guess a few things about you: for one, you might like art and are starting to take the pursuit seriously, and two, you might have experienced a few setbacks already on that path. I’m sure there might be other reasons that you have clicked on this blog but I am just going to pretend those things don’t exist and you are in full throttle toward a career in the art world.
If you are like me, people don’t always return your phone calls, or like your new resume or bookmark your website. You might come from a location where people laugh when you say that you are at an art major, or from another local where it is considered cool, but no company is looking for someone with your type of skills. You might have poured all your energy and savings into an exhibition where no one attended and ate your cute little cubes of cheese. Perhaps your mother complains to all the neighbors that you are a dreamer and your dog throws up whenever it is subjected to your paintings.
Don’t worry. Keep going and find your voice.
When I was nineteen I spent the summer in Europe. After listening to some lectures I was traveling back to my flat with one of my friends, someone who was much older and experienced. I confessed to him that I could never see myself talking in front of a crowd, because I didn’t think that I had anything worthwhile to say. He replied that all I had to be was Dawn Wheat and give what Dawn Wheat had to give. While what he told me was true, I was not ready to give any earth-shaking talks at the time. I’m not there yet, either. What I do know is that I can write on being an artist today because I have continued to preserve through the long haul.
Remember that the voice you have is unique but like a sculpture imbedded in a block of marble, the sculptor needs to chisel away the excess. Failure, disappointment, and bad critiques can be fuel for this mandatory process; this must come if you hope to be a good artist. In some circles this is part of what they call paying your dues, but I don’t think this debt is ever paid in full. Our age, experience, expertise and luck don’t protect us from events or critics.
Since a child I have been trying to write books. Most of what I wrote was not well written or interesting, but it taught me that I could see a project through to completion. It taught me to love writing and stories.
Writing a novel is a huge time commitment in which you have you no control of the end results. After several years of working full time as a graphic designer, and then spending my weekends and evenings buried under edits, I had a full-length novel that made me proud. I submitted it to a writing contest and attended the connected conference. When the day came I was not chosen, but was present when the winner stepped forward in front of the enthusiastic crowd. The judge explained why he had chosen this entry and at that moment I understood what was not working in my novel.
I’m going to tell you the truth that I was very disappointed by this experience and it took me awhile before I invested more time in my novel. However, my story continued to grow in my subconscious and by the time I was ready to write again, I knew how to correct my past mistakes. The truth is that hurdles will come in various forms but you can use it for your advantage.
I have often told painters who are just starting out that you will do a lot of bad paintings before you do any that are good, but the important thing is that you fall in love with the process. If you don’t, that is probably a sign that you need to find another medium or try something new altogether. If you do, odds are it will carry you through the ups and downs that are inevitable.
The other thing to keep in mind is that we are all on different tracks, going in the same direction. If you have ever taken a beginning painting course, you know that you don’t start out painting whatever you want and create a whole new thought within art. You paint boxes and shoes. You learn about the color wheel. The basics have to be learned before you can go to the next step, which is creating your own still life and setting up your own boxes and shoes. Don’t compare yourself to the person next door that has replaced boxes with milk cartons.
A friend of mine told me recently that if he didn’t receive a certain grant he would not be able to produce a movie for the coming year. In response to this, he said that it wouldn’t be the end of the world. He would get up and try something else. This is the pattern he would take until something worked. The key is to try many things. Write many stories. Paint many paintings. Create multiple pet rocks, if that’s your thing.
It is not uncommon for some authors to spend ten years writing their first novel, or for some artists to try their hand at different mediums.
The reasons for setbacks can be multiple: perhaps you need to take classes to increase computer skills, or maybe the ideas you have need more time to germinate. Identify what you think is at the root of the problem (if that is possible) or ask others you trust to take a swing at it. Don’t cry when you hear their response, or think that this is the end all of opinions.
If creating art is something that you really love, you are a part of a circle where we have all overcome something. The question is how did you respond?